Runaway Baby
by RikkuPollendina
Summary: Anna has just come to London, and loves her new job. She can only hope her bosses don't find out her secret...
1. Chapter 1

I wheeled by red leather suitcase in back of me, taking everything in. I had just hopped off my plane, and was still shocked by how big it all was. I was a small town girl from a tiny New Hampshire town, and here I was, finally in London! It was relatively comforting to see a Starbucks; it was a small echo of home, something I could relate to. I walked in and ordered my favorite treat: a Caramel Macchiato. I honestly don't understand why some people don't enjoy them. They're like a coffee ice cream float. I sat down with the lovely concoction, when something hit me: I didn't have a place to stay, or work. I figured I'd find a place for employment, and they could recommend somewhere I could bunk. Hoping this was like home, I wandered to the back of the store. Just like the one in our tiny town, there was a corkboard. I scanned through the fliers until I saw a rather funny looking one: there were cat whiskers at the top.

Wanted!

One relatively intelligent person (male or female) to handle tech, edit, and possibly (if we like you) co-host a web show! We're looking for someone spontaneous, funny, relatively attractive, fun-loving, and a little bit crazy! Please apply by calling:

There was a phone number printed along the bottom of the mint-green page. _Well,_ I thought, _Everybody back home thought I was funny and crazy. Maybe I'll apply._

The one problem was: I'm not pretty. I have brown hair that kind of hangs there like a dead thing, eyes that tend to change from grey to green to blue, and pinkish lips. I'm half decent with makeup on.

Well, it's worth a try.

I pulled out my phone checking and double checking to make sure I'd typed it in correctly. It buzzed a few times before the line picked up.

"Hullo?"

"Hi, um, I saw your poster in Starbucks, and well, I thought I'd apply, so…"

"Excellent! Quick question. You're in Starbucks: what drink did you order?"

"Um… a Caramel Macchiato…" I responded, relatively confused.

"Perfect! You've passed the first test! Okay, one of my friends will be at the Starbucks in 5 minutes wearing a neon yellow hoodie. He's going to interview you."

"Okay, I'm wearing a bright red coat."

"Great, I'll tell him. Bye!" The line went dead before I could respond.

I sighed. _Well, at least there's enough time to get myself looking decent_, I thought, yanking out my makeup bag.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! :D**

**So I figured I'd introduce myself. I'm Fiona, 14, a stupid American :( (I know, I know)**

**Thank you to Guest for reviewing my last chapter!**

**I'd like to apologize in advance for how short my chapter are. It's my writing style, sawwy :(**

**Anyhoo, enjoy! Have interrobangs! ‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽**

* * *

Mr. Big Yellow Hoodie strolled in right on time. He looked around a bit until he saw my coat. Grinning, he walked towards me.

"You're the one that applied, right?"

"Um yeah." He stuck out his hand, and I shook it.

"The names PJ." The man said, attempting to shoot me a disarming smile. It didn't work.

"Anna." I responded.

"Ohh, American!" He exclaimed, smiling wider. "Well, right down to business." He sat down across from me, pulling out a clipboard. "Full Name?"

"Anna Nosylla Dubh-Gahl."

"I sense a story behind that."

"Yeah, I usually only use my first name. Nosylla is my grandmother's name, Allyson, backwards, and Dubh-Gahl means 'People Of The North', relating me to Vikings in my not-to-far-away family tree."

"Niceeee. Vikings. And Nosylla sounds Elvish. Lovely name, really." PJ responded. "Now, what are your favorite bands?"

"Muse," I responded right away. "and AC/DC, Aerosmith, Ingrid Michaelson, My Chemical Romance, Skrillex, Boston, Lily Allen, and some modern music. But mostly Muse."

"Excellent! Now, what's your favorite junk food?"

"Well, being from the US I don't get them often, but Maltesers and Kinder Eggs." PJ"s mouth fell open.

"You don't have Kinder Eggs in the US?" he said with a look of utter shock on his face.

"Nope." I replied, enjoying his surprise.

"God, how do you live?" In response, I gestured to the Starbucks cup.

"Caramel Macchiatos are my drug." I responded.

"Splendid. What are your favorite things to do?"

"Ehm, this is gonna sound bad but if I'm gonna be honest, creating mixes, browsing the Internet, writing, playing videogames, reading, singing, and in general being lazy." I said with a sheepish smile.

"Are you sure you don't know who you're being interviewed for?" the man asked.

"Yeah, positive."

"What's your policiy on privacy?"

"Uhm, I've shared a room with people before, sharing apartments is fine, sharing a bathroom is fine. Only thing I need private is my wardrobe and laptop." I responding, wondering why he was asking all of these weird questions.

"Great. Excellent. This is going better than expected!" The guy laughed. "Just a few more questions. What's your position with the whole LGBT community?"

"I'm straight, but 100% against hate. Honestly, I prefer gays to straights." PJ laughed out loud at that.

"Okay, two more questions. How comfortable are you with being on YouTube?"

"Just as long as you don't disclose my location." That got a bit of a strange look from him, but he just shrugged it off.

"Alright. They'll know you're in London, but that's about it."

"Good."

"Well then, last question, kinda compound: Do you have a place to stay, how long have you been in London, and why did you move?"

I started to freak out at the last question. How the hell was I supposed to answer that without giving everything away?

"Wellll," I started, "I arrived an hour ago, and I left because I... just felt like escaping." There. That wasn't too far from the truth. "As for the place to stay, I literally have 10 pounds in my pocket. Not gonna do me much good."

"Yeah, not at all. Well, your possible bosses have a spare room. I think we should go meet them." PJ smiled at me. "Personally, I think you've got the job."

* * *

We hopped in a cab and drove to a relatively large apartment building. I hopped out of the cab, a very annoying Miley Cyrus song running through my head. We got in the elevator, and PJ pressed the button, sending us shooting to the 26th floor. The doors slid open, and I was lead to the front doors of what could possibly be my new home.

"Dan? Phil?" PJ called when we arrived. "I've got one!"

Suddenly it all clicked. Cat Whiskers. Dan. Phil. London. PJ. Muse.

"Wait. THE Dan and Phil? As is Danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil?" My question was answered when a shockingly blue-eyed boy with straight black hair walked out of the kitchen, flour all over his shirt.

"Please excuse my appearance: there was a mistake with the siv when we were making pancakes." he said.

"EXCUSE ME. They are DELIA SMITH pancakes. Calling them PANCAKES is a dishonor to her!" said a brown eyed, brown haired boy who stumbled out of the kitchen in a similar state as Phil.

I stood there, gaping at my idols, my role models. I was in their apartment goddammit. Their goddam apartment.

"Sooo." PJ said, bringing the flour-covered boys back to Earth. "Here's her interview sheet." They snatched it from him, sitting down and pouring over it.

"Are you sure you didn't know it was us you were being interviewed for?" Dan asked, looking up at me with one eyebrow raised.

"I'm one hundred percent positive."

"Well, if that's the case..." Phil said, sharing a look with Dan. "I'd like to welcome you aboard." He stood, shaking my hand.

"Aw, why the hell are you so formal Phil‽ (interrobang :D)" Dan said, tackle hugging me. I let out a yelp, then returned the hug.

"Alright." Dan said when PJ had left, rubbing his hands together. "PJ told us you literally have 10 pounds. That's not gonna pay for anything. You can have the room at the end of the hall. Oh, and since you're on board with us, YouTube is going to pay you. Depending on our views, we get about 10k per month, so you'd be wise to start a channel as well, as it's per views and likes. We'll help you get popular. We can collaborate for rent and food, it won't cost much, and the rest of the money you make is for you, although some of it will go to vacation and video game fees. Cool?"

"Sounds great!" I responded barely able to contain my excitement.

"So," Phil called from the kitchen. "Wanna help us make a video? I hope you're a good cook: we're making pancakes!"

"FOR THE LAST TIME, they are called DELIA SMITH PANCAKES." Dan yelled as he led me to the kitchen.

* * *

**Please review! Thanks for reading!**

**~Fiona 3**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"Okay Anna, we're gonna have you say your name, where you're from, and one random fact about you." Dan prompted me.

I panicked. Where you're from. They can't know that. Mind racing, I tried to find a loophole, a way that I wouldn't disclose my location...

"Aaaand... go!" Phil cued me.

"Why hello! My name's Anna, I'm from the USA, and I really, really like animals, mainly dolphins and penguins, seals and cats." I finished triumphantly. I'd only said I was in the United States. Phew.

"Anna here is our new intern and roommate, and she'll be showing up in videos a lot! So yay!" Phil said from behind the camera.

"Yaaaay!" Dan called from behind me in a Kermit the Frog accent, waving his arms above his head.

With that, we started to flip pancakes, attempting to catch them. I managed to land one directly in my mouth. Phil exploded one somehow, and soon it was Dan's turn to flip.

"Ready?" he called. Phil and I joined in a chorus of 'yes!'. The pancake rose smoothly, about to reach the top of it's ark… but then got stuck to the ceiling. We all sort of stood there in stunned silence. Finally, I stopped the quietness.

"Wait to go Dan, you broke physics." I chortled. Phil tried to keep a straight face along with Dan, but neither of them could help themselves. We all started giggling, then laughing, and soon we were collapsed in a pile on the floor, tears streaming down our faces from laughing too hard.

"I'm going to get abs from laughing this much." I gasped out. Once he'd composed himself, Phil stood up.

"Well," he remarked, "looks like the intern is gonna have to scrape the pancake off the ceiling." I groaned, but hopped up on a chair, bringing the spatula with me.

"Hold the pan right under the pan- sorry, the Delia Smith pancake." I remarked snidely, making Phil giggle. Dan sighed, blowing his fringe out of his face, and retrieved the pan. Carefully, I scraped the runny substance off the ceiling, and it flipped, landing perfectly in the pan, cueing a round of applause.

And yes, the Delia Smith pancakes were delicious.

Later that night, I learned the 'wonders' of editing. I took the first third, Dan took the second, Phil the third. I honestly enjoy editing videos, but Dan and Phil seem to be sick of it. Even so, it's my job to help. I insert video game sound effects, like they usually have, changed the colors from black and white to color a few times to emphasize 'serious' parts, and cut out the boring bits. Finally, I was finished.

"You guys done editing yet?" I asked from my perch on the sofa.

"Noooo." came a chorus from the two of them.

"Let me help one of you, please."

"No!" Phil scolded me. "You did you work, and now you're done. You're gonna make me lazy! You should probably go settle into your room."

I agreed, fetching my suitcase from the front hall. My room was all the way in the back, with relatively horrible yellow wallpaper.

"Hey, do you guys mind if I spray-paint the walls in here?" I called to them.

"Yeah, totally! Nothing explicit though, please and thank you!" Phil shouted back.

Now, I know this may seem weird, but I always carry spray paint with me. I'm relatively artistic, so whenever an opportunity arises, I can be creative. I was standing in the middle of the piss-yellow room, wondering what I should do, when I had the great idea. I ran down the hall to the living room, telling Phil and Dan my idea.

"So," I started once I had finished my explanation. "Can I post a video on you channels?"

"Hi guys." I said to the camera, giving a big smile. "So I just moved into Dan and Phil's apartment, and this is what my room looks like." I panned around the room, showing off the plan yellow wallpaper. "Yeah, pretty boring." I said once the camera was back on me. "Anyway, I'm decent at spray painting, and I've decided that I'm going to dedicate this room to whatever the viewers want! You can comment on this video or send me a tweet, and if it's not explicit, I'll paint it on the wall. I'm sorry, I'm not that skilled, but here's the first thing I'll do!"

I turned on my Muse playlist, spraying the wall carefully as Madness and Uprising and Resistance washed over me. I'd turn this into a time lapse later. Tan and black and gray and blue sprayed out, until finally I was done. There, immortalized on my wall forever, were Dan and Phil, hissing out of the wall with cat whiskers on their faces, hands raised in a mockery of claws.

"Alright guys, what do you think? Let me know in the comments, and give me ideas of what I should paint! Thanks for watching Danosaurs and Philosauraptours!"

With that, I turned off the camera and got to editing, fast forwarding and slowing down the video at the funny parts, like when I dropped a paint can on my foot and yelled, "Shit!", and the time when I was a genius and sprayed the can backwards, putting black speckles all over the sky blue shirt I was wearing. To be honest, it made the shirt look better. I cut out the boring stuff and mess ups, and uploaded the video to both Danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil.

There was a bed in the room, and I had brought bed sheets. I sat down on the mattress, and the frame let out an ungodly screech. After some pondering what to do about this, I remembered the KickThePJ bedroom tour he'd posted, talking about how he just had his mattress on the floor. I swiftly dismembered the frame, putting on my sheets, duvet, and pillow. There. Much better. I MacGyvered (google it) the bedframe into a clothing organizer, and emptied the contents of my suitcase into it. I went into the kitchen to make one last cup of tea.

"'Night guys." I called out to Dan and Phil, who were playing Sonic.

"'Night." They responded in a monotone. And then, I tucked into my first night in London.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: OH MY GOSH GUYS THANK YOU FOR READING. Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy! Have a cookie while you read! You deserve a treat!**

* * *

Chapter 4

It had been a week since I showed up in London. I had my own YouTube channel, Dan and Phil were already my new best friends, I had gotten to know PJ better and had been introduced to their friend Chris. Now, my walls featured a gay pride flag, a picture of a microwave and Dan twirling his finger saying "Mic-ro-wave", a couple interrobangs, and a lion. Apparently, people liked my art. They kept asking 'oh, can you paint me this' and 'will you please make a tutorial?' Sadly I was too busy at the moment to do any of that.

At the moment, I was filming a Truth or Dare video with the boys. We were laughing about the fact that Phil had just been forced to pour heavy cream up his nose, and he had sprayed a hefty amount all over the kitchen sink.

"Alright, alright, I can breathe again." Phil wheezed out after some time. "Thank you to AreWeWhatMeetsTheEye for sending us that horrible, horrible dare." After this, we walked back into the living room, still giggling.

"Okay Dan, your turn. Truth, Dare, or Double Dare?" I asked once I had settled myself on the pillow behind where the camera was propped, adjusting it so Dan and Phil were more centered in the picture. "Remember, you can't back out of double dares." Dan grinned at this.

"I'm feeling risky. Read me the 5th dare down, and no matter what it is, I'll do it."

"Ooookay." I said, scrolling down until I reached said position. "Phangurl13 dares you to…" I trailed off towards the end, glancing up at my two friends.

"What?" Dan said, looking a bit scared. "Out with it!"

"Okee… you have to kiss Phil." Dan's face paled, and Phil's face flushed: I couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment or excitement.

"No backing out." Phil said. "Quick warning though: I may taste of cream."

"Oh good Lord." Dan groaned dramatically, although now I could tell it was excitement in his eyes. He slowly leaned in, closing the gap between them.

It was kind of like watching two people dance - intricate shifts in position, one listening to the other's movements. After about 30 seconds, the two were having a full make-out session on the floor of the living room - Dan had Phil pinned down, then the latter switched their positions, rolling Dan over until Phil was straddling him. I was faced with a decision: I could interrupt them, or I could sneak off and let them have their fun. I went with option number three. I removed the memory chip from the camera, keeping the entire thing on tape for the channel, and replaced it with a new card so they wouldn't suspect a thing. Once this was done, I let out a dramatic sigh.

"Get a room, guys! Seriously! This isn't a romantic comedy, for crying out loud!" The two of them sprang apart, as if they had forgotten my existence, which was probably likely: I hadn't exactly been living with them for long. They began stuttering out apologies.

"Now, now, I won't here any of this 'oh we're so sorry we just found out how totally in love with each other we are in front of you'. This is fantastic!" Dan started to talk again, but I pressed a finger to his lips to silence him

"Tut, tut, hush up now. I'll just run down the street and get us all some Kinder Bueno and something to drink. I'll be about 15 minutes, and you two can figure out what this means for you while I'm gone." I grabbed my wallet, walking towards the door.

"Adios personas," I giggled as I walked out the door, waving over my shoulder. "Have fun…" I added as the door swung shut.

* * *

I arrived back at the apartment with a bag full of Maltesers and Kinder Bueno, precariously balancing a tray of Starbucks drinks with my other hand.

"Stop making out, I'm back!" I called. This was met with a collective groan from the two of them. "So, have you come to terms with your little love fest?"

"Um, yeah." Dan replied wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans. "Well…" he trailed off, then meaningfully took Phil's hand. Phil nodded at me, affirming my suspicions.

"Oh. My. GOSH! Guys, this is GREAT! Congrats!" I did everything I could not to have a huge fangirl attack and start projectile vomiting proverbial rainbows all over them. They started laughing at my excitement.

"Yup. Pretty damn exciting." Phil said once his laughter died down. "How should we tell the Danosaurs and Phillions?"

"Noooooooo." Dan moaned, dropping his head into his hands. "WE CAN'T tell them! They'll attack us the minute we walk out the door."

"Let's see." I said, raising my hands like a scale. "On my right hand, I have you telling the viewers. They think you trust them, sure, a few homophobes will unfollow you, but you may change the opinion of some. Plus, you'll get to act very friendly in videos. On my left hand, I have you two not telling. You have to act platonic in videos, which I can tell will be hard-" I gesture to Phil's arm, which has snaked around Dan's waist "- and in the end you'll inevitably tell them and they'll realize you hid it from them, which will cause offense to some." I tilted my 'scale' in favor of the right side. "I think we have our answer."

Dan looked at me, then the ground, then at Phil, still uncertain.

"But- what if my parents watch it?" he asked.

"Why does that matter?" I asked him. He sighed, taking a deep breath before responding slowly.

"Well… my mum and dad are what I like to refer to a 'superhomophobes". They're so ridiculously homophobic that if a gay guy walked past our front door, they'd shoot him. They actually had a gay pride flag with a huge red 'X' through it hanging off of their mailbox." Dan's eyes filled with an indescribable sadness as he said this. "When I realized I was gay... When I met Phil… I realized that my parents would never accept me for who I am. Ever. So I'm afraid if they see it, they'll disown me or hire an assassin to get rid of me or something."

"Well, have they ever watched any of your other videos?" Phil asked, nuzzling Dan's neck.

"Oi, don't touch my neck!" Dan yelled, spazzing out a bit at Phil's touch. Phil laughed, letting his head rest on Dan's shoulder. "Anyway, no… only when I tell them to watch a particularly funny one, and even then I have to send them a specific link. YouTube confuses them." he replied, smiling a bit.

"So that answers your question." I chimed in.

"It still leaves the question of how." Dan responded.

"I have a fantastic idea!" I smiled, and pulled the memory stick out of my pocket.

"Y-yo-you got the-" Phil stuttered

"Yup. All 6 minutes of it! I must say, it's adorable. I could make an intro, say you didn't want me to post it but I felt they should know, and post the video." They boys nodded enthusiastically at that.

"Perfect idea!" Dan said. "In fact, as your boss, your workload for the day is to upload that video to your channel. It's gotten as many followers as mine since we promoted you, so all of the fans should see it." Laughing, he turned to Phil. "Did you know we already have a ship name? Apparently we're called 'Phan'." Phil's eyes lit up at this. I swear, in that moment, the sexual tension was feasible.

"O-kay, I'm gonna get this show on the road, start editing and uploading, all that jazz. Ta!" I said, walking down the hall as I spoke, closing the door to my room at the last word. I leaned against the door once it was closed. Sighing, I slid to the ground, crawling across the floor to the camera.

* * *

Subscriber's POV

"Hello again!" Anna's voice rang clearly through my speakers. "So usually I post funny videos, but this is gonna be kind of serious. Sorry, but I beg of you to stick around! Alright, so recently I got a bit of video from a Truth or Dare video that went up awhile ago. Well… Dan and Phil don't want me to post this, and consider me dead if they find it, but someone dared them to do something interesting and this is what happened…"

I watched the remainder of the video, mouth hanging open.

"Miley!" I called to my sister and fellow Phan shipper. "Get in here! Dan and Phil are together! You need to see this! MILEY THEY'RE KISSING!" I yelled as I pulled up Tumblr and my gifmaking software, ready to join the fray of Phangirls flipping their lids.

* * *

**A/N: So, yay! PHAN! **

**This is the part where I respond to reviewers! Send my a review, AND YOU MAY BE SO LUCKY AS TO GET ONE!**

**Malteser24: Thank you so much! It means a lot to me, because there are a few stories of yours that when you update I drop everything and go YES FINALLY ASDJFDISLK! Have an interrobang! ‽**

**Obsession123: Thank you! I'm really glad you like it, seeing as I love your fics! Interrobang for you too! ‽**

**gemstone: I'll try! It's hard to update a lot because I go to a Charter School (basically high school college) which means a lot of homework (yay!), but I'll update as frequently as possible. INTERROBANG! ‽**

**Guest: AWH *blushes* Glad to know you like it! Thanks for the review(s?) MORE INTERROBANGS JUST FOR YOU ‽**

**And a plethora of interrobangs for all of my readers! Thanks for taking 5 minutes out of your busy schedules to read this! ‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽**


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